Park and dinner

On Wednesday we left our hotel and ventured out to a park with Kai. As soon as the camera was pulled out the fun began. We ended up just booking it through the park just to get out of there. We have some very interesting video that we will share with Kai when he is older. Spitting at us and screaming in public. Nothing seems to faze the Chinese people. Brooks and I are beyond caring anyway. We are just going with it. Aside from our fun at the park we had another positive day. Kai is really bonding with Brooks and he likes to watch videos of his Mei Mei and Jie Jie. At times he seems to understand us and he gets a little grin on his face and refuses to listen. Right now we are trying several different techniques to calm him. The latest, holding him tight and not letting him go. Brooks read about this technique on the internet. It is to reinforce that we are not going to leave him even when he acts out. Brooks even went to the extreme of wrapping him in a blanket, now termed “the burrito”.  Kai understands the terms “burrito” and shakes his head no when Brooks asks him if he wants “the burrito”. LOL!!!!!

It is now Thursday moringing and the boys are still sleeping. I am trying to post as quickly as possible before Kai wakes and sees that the computer is out. Last night we ate dinner at a restaurant near the hotel. It was our first positive dining out experience. We were able to sit and eat. Kai was patient when waiting for the food and he only got up a few times to show me that he wanted something to drink. First it was Red Bull (even the Chinese need their caffeine). Of course I said “no”, and then it was a coke he wanted. Again, “no”. He settled for orange juice. He only drank about 1/4^th of the bottle. The first day he was drinking a whole bottle of tea or an entire can of coke with his meal.

Today we are going to the museum. Our plan is if Kai starts acting up we will leave. No big deal. Our guide is on board with the plan. I keep wondering what she thinks of our situation. Of course, she will not just come out and say what she thinks. She did tell us most of the children from Xinjiang are younger than Kai so maybe she does not have that much experience with the older kids.

Today I am heading to the bazaar for the second time. Yesterday Lily took me there to find gifts. Unfortunately it was closed due to a Uyghur holiday. I managed to look in a few stores that were open. There are some really unique items that I would like to bring home.

Today is our last full day in Urumqi then we head off to Guangzhou tomorrow. We are praying for an uneventful flight, transfer and a second flight to get there. Hopefully Kai will be agreeable and we make our short connection in Chengdu.

We have Kai!!!

Yesterday was our "Gotcha Day". I am not going to sugar coat this post as I want it to be realistic for anyone reading that might be considering adopting an older child.

We were to meet our guide in the lobby at 10am to drive to the Photo Mart. Around 945 our room phone rang and it was our guide Lilly who said "we are in the lobby. I picked up the directer and we are here now". Brooks and I booked it down to the lobby and were able to video our fist sighting of Kai. He was shy and was scared to meet us. Finally at last he came up and shook my hand and he gave Brooks a hug and kiss!!!!!! I hope we have it all on video. I will explain later to why we are not sure.

After the initial meeting we went to the Photo Mart and had our pictures taken. All was good. Then off to the Provincial office.  When we entered the office there was another family there that we met at New Day. They are a truly amazing family. The have 4 bio kids, 4 Chinese kids and they are here to adopt 2 additional kids. You read that right! Number 5 and 6 from China :). They are such a nice family. They gave us some advise and told us it will get better and easier.

One thing I forgot to say is on our ride over to the office Brooks was snapping photos of Kai. Kai took the camera from Brooks so he allowed him to take pictures. All was fine if we let him have the camera.  The minute we tried to take it away the crying, screaming, kicking and throwing himself down on the floor started. OK, I guess the honey moon phase was over. Wow, that was quick. The orphanage directer and the caretaker tried to calm him down. You could tell that they were stressed. I could see that Brooks was really stressed as well. All that I could think about was that return policy that we signed. I was afraid Kai was going to break Brooks within a couple of hours and it would be over... We would come home without him.

We finished our appointment and off to the notary office. There again Kai was acting up. Running off and kicking. Yikes!! All the while packing the video camera or the camera around to keep him calm.  We knew we were in for it. We were trying desperately to ask as many questions to figure out what was going on with him. Is this how he is all the time or is it the stress or what? We noticed that the caretaker kept giving him gum and he would be good. He seemed to listen when she spoke to him and he would do what she told him to do. That was a good sign. Brooks and I were looking for our life line to keep our hopes up that this is a good kid.

We ended up leaving the notary which was walking distance to our hotel. Kai kept looking back for the directer and the caretaker. I ended up caring all 18 kg of him back to a Uyghar restaurant near the hotel. Our guide ordered us food and he ate noodles with lots of chili peppers. Apparently he really likes spicy food.

After that we took him back to the hotel and took him swimming. He loves to swim. After about two hours we told him that it was time to go and the naughty little boy emerged again. Brooks and I were exhausted by this time. We were both thinking , what are we doing? I am feeling guilty for dragging Brooks to China, again.... After returning to our room. Kai was bouncing off the walls. With all the gum, coke and snacks he was really acting out. He kept leaving the room and running down the hall way. It was too many times to count. We decided to take him out for a walk at the square across the street. There he wanted a kite. When we told him no, he threw a fit. Then off to see the pigeons. People were feeding the pigeons and we thought he would like to join in. He kept grabbing the pigeons and when Brooks would take it away he would resist and pull a bunch of feathers out...
We ended up back at the hotel and I asked the front desk if anyone spoke Uyghar. We found a worker who translated for us. We told him that he must not run away from us. He must stay in the room. Etc... When the man was telling Kai all this he was really listening and he was better. The rest of the night was similar to our earlier experience but things got slightly better during the evening.

Tuesday we got up and went to the police station. Our guide was able to reinforce to Kai "the Rules". He seemed to understand. Today has gone much better. Only a few tantrums. We are hanging out at the hotel, limiting stimulation and trying to reassure him. Brooks has been a trooper. Just like Zoe, Kai has bonded with Brooks.

Here are a few things about Kai that we were told or from observation.
He loves noodles
He is a messy eater
Very independent
He bathes at night and washes every square inch twice except his feet, which he washes about 8 times.
He was raised by a Muslim family
His primary language is Uyghar, Mandarin is his second language
He loves the TV to be blaring loud
He is rough
He weighs 40 lbs
He is Uygar and not Han Chinese
He can say "good boy" in English
He was called Yakupa by his foster family
We have pictures of him and his foster family :)
He was spoiled

He has started calling us Mama and Baba
He has been living in the orphanage for the last 2 weeks

We are unable to take photos or bring out the video camera as it unleashes the "monster child" within Kai. Hopefully we will be able to take photos at some point so we can document our first days.
Tomorrow we are going to take him to a park with rides if the weather is tolerable. So far, only our fist day in Urumqi has been cold and the rest of the days have been mild.

We are thinking so much of this behavior is due to stress and his inability to communicate. We see some promising improvement today and hope it will get better each day.
We will try to post some pictures after Kai is asleep as it will require the camera to come out of hiding :)

We are in Urumqi

Urumqi: Pronounced Oo-Roo-Moo-Chi or Woo-Loo-Moo-Chi....
So, we've been mispronouncing it for the last 9 months. Better late than never, i guess :)
It was about a 4 hour flight from Beijing and Cindy was the only Caucasian on the fully booked flight. It's funny how everyone stares at her. But I now exactly what they're thinking.... 'How did she get so lucky to end up with such a handsome Asian husband' LOL.

On the flight there was a Uighar man and woman with a 2 yr old boy. The  boy could pass for Kai's little brother. He was very cute and pretty well behaved. When we got in, our guide, Lily was waiting outside of the baggage claim. We are the only one's in the group which is kind of cool. Lily informed us that Kai is THE first adoption from the Kashgar orphanage EVER. The orphanage director will be flying in with Kai a little later and she is very nervous. Apparently because she's never done this before. All the paperwork says that Kai is Han Chinese, but when we showed Lily his picture, she could tell immediately that is not the case. He looks Uighur.

Urumqi is very smoggy although you could see some blue sky, here and there. (Unlike Beijing). During this time of the years many of homes burn coal to stay warm which could account for some of the smog. We are staying at the Hoi Tak hotel which is nice and clean. The pool requires everyone to wear a swim cap for sanitary reasons. We checked in and Lily immediately escorted us to Wangfujing, a huge department/grocery store just a couple blocks from the hotel. There we bought snacks and bottled water. We then came back to the hotel to do some paperwork. Interestingly, one of the documents mentions that once we get Kai, we have a several hour return policy. This is something different from our last adoption.

We went next door to a 24 hour Muslim restaurant and Lily ordered shish kebabs, bread and noodles for us. The food is very inexpensive. About $1.50 per dish, which is awesome. Really tasty too. Lily explained that the food is very similar to Chinese food.... just no pork. And lots of lamb.

Outside our hotel is a large common square where people gather to exercise, roller blade and hang out. We were able to film a large group of women and a few men doing "Chinese Line Dancing". It is great to see that exercise is still a component of peoples daily lives. I must admit the people in Urumqi appear to be thinner than those in Beijing. We have yet to see any fast food chains here.

Because Monday is a big Muslim holiday in this province, all the government offices are closed.  Lily was able to convince them to 'do the deal', otherwise we would miss our appointment with the American Consulate in Guangzhou on Saturday. Because of the holiday, we will not be receiving Kai at an official government office, which is customary here, but at a photo mart down the street from the hotel. Were we will be taking our official family photo and passport photo for Kai.

Right now it is 8am Monday morning and it's still dark outside. The whole country of China follows one time, but a lot of locals here follow the actual time zone, which is 2 hours behind Beijing. We will meet Lily in the hotel lobby at 10am. We have a backpack full of toys and coloring supplies for Kai and I'm trying to figure out the plan when we receive him. I think we will keep it simple... maybe just 1 gift immediately to break the ice. Probably the stuffed dinosaur that Sophie sent for him. Then later he'll get all the goodies. This way, hopefully he will be able to be more conscious of everything that is going on during this extraordinary time.
More to follow later....

Leaving Beijing for Urumqi

We had 2 great days in Beijing and now it is time to fly out again. Sorry,I was unable to post at our Beijing hotel due to the Internet connection.
Yesterday we toured with our GW group. It started out wet and cold but by the time we got to the Great Wall the showers had stopped and we were able to climb the wall without getting wet. We climbed the same portion of the wall as we did when we came to get Zoe. Being 9 years older this time we didn't climb quite as far.
Beijing sure has changed since my last visit in 2005. You can see the effects of the Westerners and fast food on the people. The 20ish young people are looking more Western in a Japanese way. The spiked hair and stylish clothes. Lots of bright red hair from the over use of henna. Something I did not see in '05.
Our GW group consists of 8 families. 2 couples that will be first time parents and the rest of us with kids. Some with Chinese girls. The entire group will be heading out to their various provinces and meeting up in Guangzhou. It will be great to see everyone with their new kids. We have one mom who is traveling with her father. She will be picking up 2 girls. One that is 13. She is a bit stressed about the 13 year old because after the age of 10 the child must consent to being adopted. With having no contact with the girls she is unaware of her feelings regarding being adopted.
We will try to post once we are in Urumqi (depending on the internet).
xxoo Cindy

On our way Kai!!

This post was going to be our original post leaving Seattle. Whoops, things are in the wrong order :)
Our Internet connection is similar to dial up from the early years of technology. Small pictures and brief post may be our only choice at this location. Enjoy our journey!

The Courtyard

On our first day here the sky was overcast and it was warm enough for a light jacket.

We are in China!!!!!

We left Seattle on October 31st and arrived in China on November 1. We had a wonderful direct flight into Beijing. When we arrived in Beijing our guide was waiting for us. Things could not of gone smoother.

The drive to where we were staying was quite far outside of Beijing. It is a wonderful little village with cement houses, stray dogs, fruit vendors, food stalls and all the wonderful smells of village life (LOL). We walked through the village and ate at a local restaurant. The vegetables are locally grown and the flavor is amazing. The carrots were sweet and the cucumbers had a crunch unlike anything you can buy in our mass supermarkets in the states.

Our first day spent with the children was exciting and informative. The children are happy , well cared for and so much fun.

Brooks and I fell asleep after lunch and did not wake up until 11 PM Beijing time (9 am in Seattle, I think). As you can see we are on Seattle time still.

The village is quiet and the Mato family is wide awake and hungry!!!!

The good news is that our internet connection while sketchy, works, hence this post.

We miss the girls but know they are in good hands. We will try to post some picture.

Cindy